City of Angels Read online

  Contents

  Title Page

  Copyright

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  From the Back Cover

  Quote

  Chapter 1 - Colby

  Chapter 2 - Chloe

  Chapter 3 - Colby

  Chapter 4 - Chloe

  Chapter 5 - Chloe

  Chapter 6 - Colby

  Chapter 7 - Chloe

  Chapter 8 - Chloe

  Chapter 9 - Chloe

  Chapter 10 - Colby

  Chapter 11 - Chloe

  Chapter 12 - Colby

  Chapter 13 - Chloe

  Chapter 14 - Chloe

  Chapter 15 - Colby

  Chapter 16 - Colby

  Chapter 17 - Colby

  Chapter 18 - Chloe

  Chapter 19 - Chloe

  Chapter 20 - Colby

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  About Dayo Benson

  Saints and Sinners 2

  The Carter Family

  Dayo Benson

  Copyright

  City of Angels: Saints and Sinners 2

  © Copyright 2018 by Dayo Benson

  All rights reserved.

  No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without written permission from the author. The only exception is brief quotations in a book review.

  Visit the author's website at www.dayobenson.com

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  From the Back Cover

  How do you choose between dangerous freedom and peaceful slavery?

  Chloe: Imagine the worst thing that could happen to you. And then multiply it by ten!

  Somehow, my family has found out about Colby, and the shame of what I did is unbearable.

  Mom orders me to return home and she puts me through bootcamp: all-night prayer meetings, bible lectures from Nana, the works.

  Now, I no longer trust myself.

  Can the girl who made such a horrendous mistake just last week really be hearing from God this week?

  And would God really tell her to go to LA to participate in a reality TV show?

  Mom and Nana think not.

  Colby will be in the show. We'll be locked in a mansion for a month with a bunch of other people. I'll be out in the world all on my own with nobody to keep me in check.

  I should stick to the safety of what I've always known. Maybe I should even marry the pastor dude that my family wants me to marry. But I think I'm going to listen to these stirrings in my soul.

  I risk embarrassing myself and angering the people who love me.

  But it's possible that this could be the beginning of an exciting adventure with God.

  Colby: What I fear most is exactly what I need.

  I didn't expect that one week with Chloe to mean so much. Neither did I expect her rejection to hurt this bad.

  What she discovered about me is just the tip of the iceberg. She has no idea just how crazy things really are.

  But things are going to change.

  The dread of my family finding out what I do has kept me in captivity this long.

  I'm done hiding.

  It's time to break free.

  If Chloe and Colby can just make it to LA, everything might change.

  "'My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,' says the LORD. 'And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine'"

  (Isaiah 55:8 - NLT).

  Chapter 1 - Colby

  I don't know which is scarier: dying, or living and letting the world see my true colors.

  Sunrays filter into my room through the blinds, reminding me that the rest of the world is up and about.

  I turn over in my bed, away from the light.

  I prefer darkness. But I want to be the kind of person who isn't afraid of the light. That's why I have to show the world my true colors.

  The people who watch my videos know my face, but they don't know me.

  To them, I'm a nameless guy known only by a stage name: Mr. Big.

  The stage name gives them distance; enables them to objectify me without guilt. I'm not a real human being. I'm Mr. Big. A handsome face and a fit body. A mere consumer item.

  To Lorenzo and the rest of my bosses at The Innocence Remedy Inc., I'm a product. A brand that makes them millions of dollars.

  To my parents, and everyone who knows me personally, I'm a prodigal who needs to repent. They don't know I'm an object and a brand. They know nothing about my secret life.

  I stare at the Saints and Sinners pack on my nightstand. I haven't signed any of the paperwork or completed any of the forms. Today is the deadline.

  I don't know if I'm going to do it.

  I think I prefer the darkness. It might be best to keep my secrets hidden.

  I shake my head. I am going to do it.

  I exhale slowly, letting that thought take root and solidify my resolve. I'm going to do it. I'm going to make my secret life public because I've discovered that secrets are imprisoning and isolating.

  The only problem is my secrets are huge. They're the type that will probably isolate me even more when they get out.

  Chloe Campbell's pretty blue eyes flash through my mind. She's proof that uncovering my secrets will only isolate me further.

  Thinking of her fills my heart with a throbbing ache that is more intense than it should be. She burst into my life two weeks ago. By day seven, she was telling me she loved me. It was too soon, but I believed her. I didn't say it back, though. I knew there was no point.

  It's been a week since then—a week of total silence. No calls. No text messages. No more I love yous.

  I grab my cell phone from beside me on the pillow and tap into Facebook. I've spent an obscene amount of time on her Facebook page over the past week. Her profile picture doesn't do her justice, but my breath hitches at the sight of it anyway. She hasn't updated her status or added anything new. I scroll through the now familiar pictures in her only photo album. There are thirty-two of them.

  In the fourth picture, she's in the Hollywood Hills, squinting at the Hollywood sign that overlooks LA. The caption reads: Audition in LA. I didn't get the role, but I did get inspired. Hasta la vista, baby. #I'llBeBack!

  I know why she thought she loved me. It was the feelings. I had the same feelings. But I'm not as innocent as she is. I've had such feelings before and got over them when everything ended in either bitterness or tragedy. I know that love is a mirage. It looks so great from a distance. But up close, you realize it was all just a figment of your imagination. Then you see another mirage in the distance—a new person to obsess over. And you hope it won't be just a mirage this time. But it always is. Especially for a man like me.

  I hoped things would be different with Chloe. She stirred my soul like nobody has before. But I suspected her feelings wouldn't survive my secrets.

  I was right.

  Suddenly, the same girl who felt so strongly about me that she ended things with her fiancé no longer cared. Hours after she confessed her love, she found out what I am. And that changed everything, just like I knew it would.

  I'm glad it happened. I was beginning to get all these romantic notions about being accepted for who I am and loved despite the mess that my life is. Chloe's rejection was a much needed reminder that uncovering my secrets to the world won't solve all my problems. I'll still be isolated.

  But at least I'll no longer be a prisoner.

  Just then, I hear my front door open and then slam shut. The sound echoes through the stillness of my house.

 
I often wonder why I bought a big house that echoes so much. The house is empty. I have nothing to fill it with. When I first moved in, I filled it with 'stuff'. The latest gadgets, possessions that most people covet but can't afford, big boy toys like gaming consoles and gym equipment. Despite all the 'stuff' the house still felt empty. Soon, I got sick of looking at it all and got rid of it.

  Now, I'm forced to go to a gym when I need to work out. I don't necessarily like it but it does mean I get to be around other people. Even if only sweaty strangers with earbuds in their ears.

  The sound of quick footsteps crossing the entranceway downstairs echoes up the stairs and into my bedroom.

  Everything is meaningless, I tell myself.

  It's a quote from the book of Ecclesiastes. Bible verses are coming to me more often these days. It makes me think God is trying to do something in me, but I don't see how anything can ever truly change.

  I made a bargain with Him two weeks ago. He had to give me a specific sign if He didn't want me to kill myself. He gave me the sign. So, I have to live.

  But I still want to die.

  I hear feet on the stairs. I tap away from Facebook and toss my phone aside.

  Wyatt appears in the doorway. "Are you still in bed?"

  Obviously.

  I don't reply.

  The lights in the room flick on. I squint at him in annoyance. "What do you want?"

  "Don't you have to submit your paperwork for Saints and Sinners in…" Wyatt glances at his watch, "…forty-five minutes?"

  I knew I shouldn't have told him to hold me accountable.

  He's my cousin. Dad's younger brother's son. He's the only person I still talk to, outside of the people I work with. He knows everything. I didn't tell him. He found out seven years ago when I filmed my first flick. He watches that kind of stuff. I swore him to secrecy.

  It's funny how Uncle Ralph, dad's brother, isn't a Christian, and Wyatt was never made to go to church, yet their family isn't much different from mine. Sure, Wyatt's parents split up when he was six and he had a dozen stepdads growing up, but my family is supposed to have Jesus. Yet, we're a wreck.

  Nobody knows we're a wreck, of course. We looked like the perfect family when I was growing up. We were far from it. Even after the night that changed our lives, everyone still thinks dad is awesome but that the devil has gotten into his sons.

  They're right.

  But dad is no angel.

  "Get up!" Wyatt snaps.

  I cuss him out.

  Instead of leaving, he comes and yanks the covers off me. He regrets it when he sees that I'm butt naked.

  "Ugh!" he groans. "Seriously, Colby?"

  He starts ranting and raving about how my life will never change if I don't do something drastic.

  He goes to my closet and grabs a pair of my jeans. He whacks me across the face with them.

  Okay. Now I'm mad.

  I sit up, snatch my jeans from him, and whack him right back.

  "Yeah, go ahead and push away the only friend you have left in this whole world," he snaps. "I don't even know why I'm bothering with you, or why I'm yelling at you to change your life. You let me spend your money so your lifestyle is actually pretty convenient for me. But guess what? All your suicide talk is starting to get to me. If you kill yourself, I'll feel responsible because I was the only person who knew you were suicidal and I did nothing to help you." He pauses to insert a curse. "I don't even know how to help you."

  An urgent desire to be alone fills me. I always want to be alone these days. Goodness knows why. It's not like I have anything to do.

  "Leave, Wyatt."

  "I'm not leaving," he replies. "I won't be able to look your mom in the eye if you die. You need to sort your life out. If Saints and Sinners is your ticket to freedom, go submit the paperwork and get on the path to getting your life back."

  I'm quiet for a moment. Then I drag myself from the bed.

  Wyatt makes a face and throws me a towel.

  I wrap it around my waist before he barfs.

  He shoots me a longsuffering look. "For once, you listen to me."

  "I'm not listening to you," I retort. "I'm going because I have to keep my side of a bargain I made with God."

  "You made a bargain with God?"

  "Yeah."

  He looks at me like I'm nuts.

  Maybe I am. Sometimes, I wonder whether God really gave me a sign, or if it was all just a coincidence. Why would God waste His time even glancing in my direction when there are millions of much more deserving people out there who want His attention?

  "You know Chloe?" I ask Wyatt.

  Wyatt nods. He saw Chloe in a stage play the same day I met her.

  "I was about to kill myself," I tell him. "But I asked God to make a woman whose names begins with a 'C' ask me if I'm okay."

  "Right," Wyatt says. He's still looking at me like I'm weird.

  "Like two minutes later, some dude snatches money right out of my hands. Chloe happens to be standing nearby, and she chases him and gets my money back. Then she asks if I'm okay."

  There's this look that people who don't believe in God get in their eyes when they're thinking of a way to explain away obvious acts of God. That's the look in Wyatt's eyes right now.

  "I didn't ask her name," I tell him, "because I knew that if it began with a 'C', I would be so freaked out. I asked God to make me see her three times in one day. I saw her again that day by the Olympia Theater, where you watched her perform in Rumpelstiltskin. Then you showed me her picture on Facebook later that night. That's three times in one day. None of that can be a coincidence."

  Wyatt says nothing.

  "You think it was all a coincidence?" I ask.

  "Yes. But if you want to believe it was 'God'," he crooks his fingers, "then go 'head. Whatever gets you out of bed and signing up for Saints and Sinners is fine by me."

  "It was God," I insist. "I told Him that if I see her two more times on two different days, I'll stop shooting porn flicks and sort my life out. I did see her two more times, so I have to uphold my side of the bargain. That's why I'm going to submit this paperwork. Not because you've told me to."

  Wyatt rolls his eyes as I head to my en-suite bathroom.

  It dawns on me, as I stand under the shower, that most people wouldn't go on a reality TV show in order to fix their life. In fact, such a thing could have the opposite effect.

  But I'm tired of being blackmailed by Lorenzo and my other bosses. I've been trying to get out for three years. Each time, they threaten me with telling the world what I am.

  By going on Saints and Sinners, I will tell the world what I am, and my bosses' power over me will be broken. Then, I'll begin to rebuild my life.

  I doubt anyone will want to hire someone like me. I didn't go to college, and I figure no organization would want an ex-porn star on their staff list. But I can start my own business and make money that way. Or Saints and Sinners might kick-start some kind of career in TV for me.

  I don't dare hope for my real dream: That I sell a screenplay. That kind of success is akin to winning the lottery. The chances are almost nil.

  When I get back to my room, Wyatt is scrolling through my cell phone. I snatch it from him.

  "Hey," he protests. "I'm only reading Tiffany's messages. They always make my day."

  Tiffany is this chick I went to high school with. She's had a crush on me since we were fourteen. It's actually quite scary that she hasn't given up yet. She's cute enough but I'm not interested. Her latest text was a picture of herself blowing me a kiss.

  I throw on my jeans and slip my cell phone into my pocket. If Tiffany found out what I am, she wouldn't want me anymore. Maybe after everything is revealed on Saints and Sinners, she'll stop harassing me.

  Two minutes later, I jump into my Aston Martin. I hate 'stuff' but I couldn't bring myself to get rid of this car. It's a beauty.

  I let Chloe drive it for three days. That was before she found out about my job and decided t
o cut me off. When she returned it, it smelled of strawberries and flowers.

  It doesn't anymore.

  "Good luck," Wyatt tells me, heading to the Bentley I bought him last year.

  The dude knows all my secrets. I keep him sweet. Not that he would ever tell anybody about me, but still. I appreciate that there's one person in my life I can call a friend.

  "Wait," I call.

  Wyatt turns.

  "I'm supposed to go with my agent. There'll be paperwork for my agent to sign."

  I didn't think this through.

  Lorenzo, apart from being my boss, is also my agent and the director of all my flicks. He's basically God to me. I do as he says, and on the rare occasion that I don't toe the line, he puts me through his own version of hellish torment.

  Needless to say, he doesn't know I'm doing this. He can't know.

  "I'll be your agent," Wyatt says.

  "Awesome. Thanks."

  Wyatt gets into my car. He studies and practices Lorenzo's signature as I drive thirty minutes to the Yellow Moon Scouting Agency where I'm to meet with the Saints and Sinners casting team and hand over my completed forms.

  All the way, my heart is in my mouth. I'm finally taking a step toward regaining control of my life. I don't know if it's going to work or if it'll blow up in my face. But I have to do something.

  I'm going on Saints and Sinners as one of the sinners. It'll be broadcast that I'm a porn star. For the first time ever, Mr. Big's real name will be revealed. Then, people will connect me to my father, the famous Pentecostal pastor, Jeremy Carter.

  Dad will be mad. Mom will be heartbroken. My brothers, Hudson and Levi, will be so confused. Dad's seventeen thousand church members will be horrified.

  No woman will ever want me. At least not the kind of woman I want. Women like Chloe.