City of Angels Read online

  It's then that I remember she might be at the Saints and Sinners sign up. The show bosses needed another good girl for the saints' team. I suggested her. I didn't expect her to audition, but she did. She might have come to her senses about it now and declined.

  God, I would seriously rather die than do this.

  Death would be so much easier.

  But I had to go and make a deal with God. Promise not to kill myself. Promise to sort my life out.

  I find a parking space in the packed parking lot outside Yellow Moon and then head to the main entrance. My stomach is churning as Wyatt and I walk through the sliding glass doors.

  The reception area is empty except for the receptionist. Everyone else probably got here thirty minutes early. I'm five minutes late.

  Wyatt and I sign in then the receptionist tells us where to go. We hurry through a maze of corridors. Wyatt casts me a nervous glance as I open the door to the room where the rest of the Saints and Sinners contestants are completing the final documentation. Probably because he's going to have to pretend to be my agent for the next hour.

  "Act normal," I tell him under my breath.

  He digs his hands into his pockets, thrusts his chest out and twists his lips into a big smile.

  "Is that supposed to be normal?" I whisper.

  He ignores me and strides ahead of me into the room, calling out 'Hi' and 'Hey' to random strangers.

  There's a long row of tables and people are sitting with their agents on one side, while Saints and Sinners staff—wearing black and white T-Shirts with 'Saints and Sinners' stamped across their chests—are sitting on the other side.

  I spot a table with a lone, bored-looking Saints and Sinners staff member. She looks up as Wyatt and I approach and beams at us.

  "Sorry, we're late," I say. I have no excuse so I leave it at that.

  "Don't worry about it," the woman replies, her eyes practically devouring me. Her smile widens. "We know the lunchtime traffic can be just as bad as in the morning."

  There's one perk in being considered attractive by women. They make up excuses for your bad behavior.

  "I'm Juanita," she tells us as we sit. "Thank you for coming. We were just about to call you and ask if you'd changed your mind."

  The Saints and Sinners casting crew seems really keen on my participation in the show. In fact, after I showed my interest, last month, I received a call from one of the producers, which is unheard of. He said he'd be delighted to have me in the show.

  "Do you have your paperwork?" Juanita asks.

  "Yes. I haven't completed any of it yet. I'll do that now." I dig into my pocket for a pen. I don't have one. "Do you have a pen?" I ask Wyatt.

  He shakes his head. "Nope."

  A real agent would have a pen.

  Juanita pops to her feet. "I'll get you one."

  As soon as she turns her back, Wyatt nudges me. He's craning his neck and looking across the room. "Is that Chloe?"

  So she's here.

  I don't bother following his gaze. I don't want to see her.

  "I suggested the show to her," I reply.

  Suddenly, my heart is writhing restlessly and my thoughts are scattered. I open my pack and try to focus on the mountains of paperwork I need to complete.

  Wyatt curses under his breath. "What I wouldn't give to be locked in a house with her for a month. Maybe I can be a contestant on Saints and Sinners, too."

  I still don't look up. I can't let myself look at her. Not yet.

  "It has to be wrong for anyone to be that hot," Wyatt continues. "Seriously. It's criminal."

  I look up. Only because I have to see if she looks good enough to warrant that comment from Wyatt.

  She's sitting at a table on the right side of the room. Her friends, Gina and Leah, are with her. There's a guy with them too. Her agent, Quin.

  I knew Chloe might be here, so I should be prepared. But the sudden flash of fire that burns through my chest completely destabilizes me.

  She grins at something Gina says and everything else in the room fades away. All I'm aware of is her and that beautiful smile that would light up a moonless night.

  Chapter 2 - Chloe

  Gina nudges me as I hand my ID to the Saints and Sinners rep to make copies. "Colby's here," she whispers.

  Immediately, my head snaps in the direction she's looking.

  The minute my gaze lands on him, I wish I hadn't looked.

  He's looking at me. I can't read the look on his face, but it's not exactly warm.

  I quickly drag my gaze away.

  All of a sudden, my heart is hammering and my chest feels tight. Tingles are running through my fingers.

  I don't know how Colby always manages to look so roguishly gorgeous.

  Am I nuts? I ask myself.

  The dude is a porn star.

  He looks so good but he's far from it. I can't let myself feel this way.

  But I'm sick of feeling guilty over my feelings for him, so I tell myself it doesn't matter. Feelings don't matter. What matters is my actions. I don't have to act on my feelings, no matter how strong they are, and no matter the way they careen and collide in my core, making me feel all out of whack. I just have to wait for them to subside. One day, they'll go away. The less I feed the feelings, the sooner that day will come.

  But the thought of being locked in a house with him for a month makes me break out in a full-body sweat.

  I won't be locked in with him only, I remind myself. There'll be fifteen other people in the house too. Unless Colby and I manage to avoid eviction to the very end, we'll never be alone together. I doubt I'll get very far in the show so there's nothing to fear.

  "Is everyone finished?" Krista, the casting director, asks, her voice carrying through the room. She was one of the people who interviewed me for the show. She's hoping that when I get into the house I'll hook up with someone and get turned into a sinner.

  "Yes," a couple of people call.

  Over the past few minutes, the noise level in the room has been getting louder as people finish signing everything and have nothing else to do but talk.

  "Great," Krista says. "I'd like you all to mingle and get to know each other a little. Most of you haven't met yet. Make sure you talk to every single person in the room. When we get to LA next Friday, you'll meet the contestants from the rest of the country."

  Talk to every single person in the room?

  I glance over at Colby and his agent. They're still signing stuff. His agent looks pretty young, but then Quin, my agent, is twenty-six.

  I get up and start circling the room with Gina, Leah, and Quin. Quin gets talking to some of the other agents. I say hi to a few of the contestants. I've already met most of the people here, but there are two women I don't know. I hope they're saints.

  I go over to ask and am happy to find out that they are. One of them, Freya, is in her sixties and has owned a home for underprivileged children for forty years. She's also the full time chef. The other woman, Tiwa, is African American. She's a nurse who spends six months of every year volunteering her medical skills in developing countries.

  I feel inadequate. They're real saints. I'm just a college student and actress. I got into the show because of my Christian beliefs.

  Since Freya and Tiwa are new, everyone wants to talk to them so I step away. I notice a girl with curly, black hair. She was at the interview I attended. She's wearing these teeny, leather hot-pants with fishnet stockings. I should say hi, but I don't bother.

  It can't be anything to do with the fact that she kissed Colby on the day of the interviews.

  Of course it isn't.

  She turns just then and catches me looking at her. Her gaze flicks to someone else—a sinner guy who is a masseuse—and she starts talking to him.

  "Hello, Saint," comes a deep voice from behind me.

  I turn to see Aloysius, one of the sinners. I met him the day I was interviewed for the show. He's gorgeous, but he's a stripper. His stage name is The Enigma.


  "I have a name," I tell him.

  "Nobody's disputing that," he replies beginning to move his hips.

  He's actually an amazing dancer. His talents are wasted on stripping.

  "Can you dance, Chloe?" he asks, holding out a hand. "Dance with me."

  Gina and Leah are staring at him as he winds his body.

  It's taking me a supreme effort not to laugh. "How do you know my name?"

  "How old are you?" he asks. He pirouettes and then starts to twerk.

  Leah lets out a little gasp. Gina erupts with laughter.

  Aloysius gives them a heavy-lidded look that he's probably perfected before a mirror. "Nice to meet you, ladies. Are you contestants, too?"

  "No," Gina replies. "We're Chloe's friends."

  "Yeah, we're her groupies," Leah adds. "We're here to give her moral support."

  "Ah," Aloysius says. "How old is Chloe?"

  "Why do you want to know how old I am?" I ask.

  "Because you told me your name at the interviews on Tuesday, but you don't remember. It seems you have early onset dementia and can't remember conversations you've had."

  I roll my eyes.

  Aloysius grabs me and twirls me around. Then he dances me around the room. I'm too shocked to push him away. He swings me into his chest and then out again towards Gina and Leah. Then he releases my hand and sashays off to talk to somebody else.

  Leah, Gina, and I look at each other for a moment and then burst into laughter.

  "That's just one of the sinners," Leah whispers, giggling. "God help you, Chloe."

  "I know, right?" I reply. "At least there'll be only six sinners."

  "How many saints will there be?" Gina asks.

  "Ten."

  "And sinners have to try to influence the saints, and vice versa?"

  "Yeah. I think the show is hoping to prove some kind of hypothesis about how it's easier to influence people to sin than to be saintly."

  Leah snorts. "Is this entertainment or a social experiment?"

  I glance at my watch. I hope mingling with the other contestants is all that's left for today. If it is, I'll take my leave. I need to finish some assignments that are due while I'll be in the Saints and Sinners house. I'll have to submit them before I fly out next Friday.

  Okay. I'll admit that the real reason I want to leave is because Colby's here. This morning, I prepared myself mentally for seeing him again. But when I got here, and he wasn't here, I thought maybe he'd backed out, so I let down my guard. Only for him to show up.

  I make a beeline for a sinner girl who was at the interviews. I remember she got up on a table and danced with Aloysius. As I talk to her, and then a few of the other contestants, I don't allow myself to glance in the direction of Colby's table.

  "Colby has now completed his paperwork and is heading out to mingle," Leah whispers in my ear twenty minutes later as I'm standing with some of the contestant who are trying to get more information from some of the Saints and Sinners staff about the show and what could lead to eviction.

  I glare at Leah. "So?"

  "Just trying to be helpful," she replies. "I thought you might want to know so that you can flee in another direction."

  I don't look for where Colby is in the room. I focus on the conversation going on around me.

  The Saints and Sinners staff members are refusing to answer any questions. Eventually, they excuse themselves.

  Aloysius happens to be standing beside me. "What do you think might lead to eviction?" he asks me.

  "All I know about the show is that you can get evicted if you're a saint and you become a sinner. Or you 'sin' somehow. But I don't know what constitutes a sin."

  Everyone falls silent to listen to me.

  "I don't know how they're going to judge which sinners have become saints and vice versa. Maybe they'll give us more information when we get to LA."

  The masseuse dude nods. "It's all very cloak and dagger, isn't it?"

  "I wonder how popular the show is going to be," Tiwa asks.

  "Very popular if they've managed to attract Mr. Big," the curly-haired girl in fishnet stockings whispers, nodding in the direction that I guess Colby must be.

  "Who is he?" Freya asks.

  Miss Fishnets gives her a shocked look.

  "Freya's a saint," masseuse guy says with a laugh. "She wouldn't know."

  "Commercials have been running about Saints and Sinners all month," Aloysius says, while one of the women whispers to Freya about what Colby does. "I think it's going to be huge."

  I'm kind of hoping the show won't make many waves and will go largely unnoticed by the vast majority of the country. Mom and Nana will probably have heart attacks if the show blows up and they find out that I'm in it.

  Thinking of Mom and Nana gives me an instant headache. I've been blocking them on my cell phone for over a week now. Ever since last week Thursday when I ended my engagement to Timothy. I never wanted to marry him. I feel absolutely nothing for him, but Mom and Nana think he's perfect for me. They called me and demanded that I apologize to Timothy and tell him I'll marry him.

  I always obey them, but this time, I didn't.

  I feel evil for blocking them, though. What kind of person does that?

  But I can't talk to them right now. The mere thought of talking to them gives me this horrible sense of impending doom. Like they're going to say something that will sway me and before I know it I'll be exchanging vows with Timothy Jerkface Giles, as Gina calls him.

  Mom and Nana are good at controlling me. They know how to use guilt to sway me. And then there's the ultimate weapon: God. They wield God like an axe and use Him to cut me down to size—beat me into submission.

  That's why they have to be blocked. I'm twenty-two. I'm an adult. But they don't seem to have gotten the memo. They still want to make every decision for me. Even the big life-altering decisions. Especially the big life-altering decisions.

  Such as, what career I should choose. I want to act. Acting is my passion. They want me to stop acting and choose a 'real' job.

  Such as, who to marry. I want to find a man who makes my heart hiccup and my belly flop—and who isn't a porn star, I feel compelled to add. They want me to marry Timothy, despite the fact that he makes me want to gouge out my own eyes with a scalpel.

  They want me to be everything I'm not and deny all that I am.

  I can't do it anymore.

  I'm doing Saints and Sinners. If they find out, too bad.

  "The prize money is a quarter of a million bucks," Aloysius says. "That tells me that the show bosses are expecting a lot of viewers."

  Until Colby told me about the show last week, I'd never heard of it. I hadn't seen any of the commercials because, between college and acting, I don't have time to watch TV.

  I watched the commercials online a few days ago. This is the first Saints and Sinners show ever. They're planning to run them every year going forward.

  The bigger the show is, the better for my acting career. Unless, of course, I totally embarrass myself and ruin my career prospects.

  Maybe the show can be huge but still go unnoticed by Mom and Nana.

  This is in Your hands, I tell God.

  The only reason I'm doing the show is because I saw the phrase 'Saints and Sinners' in a dream the night before Colby told me about it. God was either trying to warn me not to go on the show, or nudging me to go on it. I have no idea which. I figured I would audition and if I didn't get chosen then I would know it wasn't for me. But I did get chosen.

  I've been praying about it, asking God for further direction. I've heard nothing from God. But I did have a funny dream two nights ago. It didn't make sense. It seems completely unrelated to Saints and Sinners.

  I was standing on a platform holding a loaf of bread. Millions of people were standing before me. I was breaking the bread and feeding them. The bread never ran out as I continued to break pieces off and give it out.

  Some people refused to take it from me. Some
people took a piece but didn't eat it. But a few took it and ate it.

  When I told Leah and Gina about it, they asked if I'd read about the feeding of the five thousand before going to bed. I hadn't, but who knows? Maybe that could have been playing on my mind subconsciously.

  However, I think God wants me to go on the show.

  Over the next few minutes, I chat with every single contestant in the room.

  Yes, including Miss Fishnets.

  Not including Colby.

  Quin is still in a huddle with the other agents.

  Gina, Leah, and I are heading back to our table when I realize Colby is in our path. We'll have to walk past him to get there.

  "Has everybody spoken to everybody yet?" Krista calls.

  Most people shout out 'Yes'. A couple of people say 'No'.

  "Okay. We'll give you five more minutes," Krista says, "then we'll tell you what to expect when you get to LA."

  Gina takes out her cell phone and pretends to be texting as we approach Colby. Leah looks in another direction. I look at my feet.

  "Hey," someone says as we walk past Colby.

  I look up. It's Colby's agent. He's staring at me.

  I smile tightly and am about to continue walking, but he steps in my way. "There's something wrong with my cell phone," he says.

  I wonder why he thinks I need to know that.

  He grins. "It doesn't have your number in it."

  I stare at the man. Is he serious?

  Gina coughs. Leah clears her throat loudly a few times, banging on her chest.

  Chapter 3 - Colby

  I trust Wyatt wholeheartedly except in one area: Women.

  Wyatt is loyal until it comes to hot chicks. He would take Chloe right off my hands without batting an eye if Chloe were interested.

  Take her off my hands?

  Chloe isn't mine. Wyatt wouldn't be stealing her from me if he got lucky with her.

  Still, Wyatt is such a womanizer and he has absolutely no morals in that regard. He knows how much I like Chloe, but he doesn't care. He's hitting on her right in front of me.

  I hide a smile when Chloe, without a word, steps around Wyatt and walks off. My smile vanishes when she walks past me, too, not sparing me even a glance.